So I’m not really all that big into the VMA’s. Pop music is pretty much the devil and I don’t think I’ve watched them since the mid-90s when the kind of music that I liked was actually featured. Nevertheless, I watched this year for two reasons, one being that Florence and the Machine was playing, and two Chelsea Handler was hosting, and I do love me some Chelsea Lately. So, knowing that I’m kind of a skeptic about the whole shebag, here’s a quick recap of some fashion, performances and other crap that goes on during these “Music Awards” (Side Note: If these awards are for videos, shouldn’t the producer/director be getting these awards rather than the artists. That would make “sense”).
Let’s start with the fact that the same 10 videos are nominated for everything. I mean, I guess since MTV doesn’t pride itself on diversity we shouldn’t expect it’s award to. Here’s the complete list of nominees. See what I mean?
Winner wise, I do love me some Lady Gaga, so I’m glad she won like 72 awards. Fashion wise she’s crazy and I love it. Check out her three main outfits.This first one is my fave. I also love that she brought discharged and now out gay members of the military in honor of the ongoing repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell as her guests.
I’m not so much about the shoes though, yes they are McQueen and yes he and she were friends before he decided he was too rich and famous and creative and killed himself. But just looking at these shoes makes my ankles break.
The second one was this sort of goth Lady Liberty thing. The Glee kids were super excited about presenting her with an award, so that was cute.
The last one she wore is made of indiscernible raw meat. RAW MEAT. Gross and awesome at the same time.
Moving on to other fashion finds, I’m truly confused why Will.I.Am is in black face:
I don’t know who this Kesha person is, nor have I heard her music. I have heard she’s a huge brat. So it’s fitting that’ she is wearing a garbage bag and is extremely unattractive.
As for the performances, I was kind of underwhelmed. I mean, Gaga won like everything but didn’t actually perform? Weird. But, going through the list of EW’s performance grades, here’s some that stood out to me, good or bad:
1) Eminem and Rhiana. I’m ambivalent about the song, and do agree that they were just non-interactive. I think Flo and the Machine’s drummer dudes were sued for this performance too. How economical. Also, wtf is Rhianna wearing??
2) Justin Beiber, you didn’t sing live so…I’m not sure you can. I’m with Chelsea Handler, maybe you’ll make better music when you actually see a vagina.
3) Usher- Flashing lights and dancing hotties. Zzzzzzz
4) Florence and the Machine- You win the night, Flo. Your powerful voice, spinning set and the kooky peeps from your video made this the best performance of the night.
5) Taylor Swift- Ugh that Black Crowes dude was right, this girl CANNOT sing. I respect the whole “I forgive Kanye” lyrics, but OW. My ears bleed from off key singing.
6) Speaking of Kanye- He’s still a jackass. Was that whole “douchebags, assholes, jerkoffs” etc. song an ode to himself? Also it was boring.
So yeah, this post is kind of cranky, because I think in general, the VMA’s totally suck. Aside from Flo + the M’s performance and Lady Gaga’s outfits, the whole show is pretty lame, noninclusive and predictable. So, that’s all folks.